Courage to receive help’ of a 29-year-old single mother who did not give up twins with severe disabilities

“I also tried to give up my children several times, thinking there was no way. But when I decided to take responsibility and look back, I realized that there are not a few places to get help.” Her single mother Han Ji-hye (pseudonym · 29

) , whom I recently met in Changwon City, Gyeongsangnam- do, is raising four-year-old twins with severe autism and intellectual disability alone. He confided his story to the Dong-A Ilbo, saying, “Now, she came to the interview with the idea that if there is a single mother who wants to give up her child somewhere, don’t give up.”

Han, who majored in musical instruments at a music school and dreamed of becoming a musician, got pregnant unexpectedly in 2018 when she was in her third year at university. When she confessed to her first pregnancy, her boyfriend at the time left Han without showing any sense of responsibility, let alone any emotion. Mr. Han went to the hospital alone to get an abortion surgery메이저사이트, but all were rejected because his twins were high risk of surgery.

Mr. Han, who only received tuition from his father and had no contact with his family, had no place to talk about his situation. He also met an illegal adoption broker because he thought he could not raise a child alone. However, he was told that “it is possible to give birth at home so that there are no records left”, so he did not put it into practice.

Mr. Han confessed that he almost left his children in the baby box after thinking, “In the end, this is the only way.” On the day she was discharged after giving birth to two sons in February 2019, Han headed to Jusarang Community, which runs a baby box in Gwanak-gu, Seoul. It was a day when his nose was freezing cold. As he tried to place the children in the baby box, he realized that he was ‘doing something he couldn’t bear’.

Mr. Han later received a phone consultation and decided to adopt his two sons to other families. However, before the adoption period of about 10 days was over, the children were finally caught in the eye. In the end, he decided to raise them on his own, thinking ‘I can’t send my children’.

It wasn’t easy for him to raise his twin sons alone. Mr. Han said, “After I knew exactly what the disabilities of my two sons were, I thought that there was no one to raise them except me, and my decision was rather hardened.”

The two sons are ‘very painful fingers’ that are not easy to raise even in ordinary families. The first (4) of autistic disorder causes convulsions to the extent that life is possible only by taking medicine. The second person with intellectual disability (4) is a troublemaker who suddenly shouts loudly. Mr. Han said that he always lacks both hands to take care of the twins who act unexpectedly, but he never got angry.

Mr. Han, who is unable to go to work because he is raising twins who cannot communicate in a normal environment, lived in a rooftop room provided free of charge by the Korea Land and Housing Corporation ( LH ) to families in crisis and looked into various welfare benefits. Two years ago, when his children started to grow in size, he mustered up the courage to think that he should raise them well like other children. He first made calls to various organizations and organizations he found through Internet searches.

Now, she is living on the 1 million won she receives from the government and local governments, including single parent allowance and disability allowance, as well as support money from private organizations. Every evening, a home visiting teacher from a group provides customized play classes for children with disabilities. Children’s toys were donated from leftovers from the facility.

Ms. Han is a ‘one-time-back’ mother who constantly visits disabled parents and single-parent groups to study childrearing even when her children are attending daycare centers. Mr. Han said, “I’m in a situation where I’m isolated from my family, but little by little I learned that if I muster up the courage and reach out my hand, I can get help anywhere.”

Ms. Han said to single mothers who were in the same situation as she was in the past, “I hope you don’t think that revealing your difficult situation is an act of revealing your weaknesses.”

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